How to Create a Life That Actually Feels Good to Live
There’s a load of advice out there already about how to make your life better:
Wake up earlier.
Get organised.
Exercise more.
Eat better.
Set goals.
Build a routine.
Be productive.
And to be fair, none of those things are inherently bad.
But sometimes I think we all get so caught up in trying to improve our lives that we forget to ask a much simpler question:
‘Do I actually enjoy the life I'm creating?’
Because you can have the routine, the goals, the productivity apps and the perfectly organised calendar and still feel like you're constantly trying to catch up with your own life, which leads to burn out.
Creating a life that feels good isn't about having everything figured out already. It's about paying attention to what makes you feel like yourself and making more room for it.
Stop measuring your life by how much you get done!
For me, this was probably one of the hardest things to unlearn.
Throughout our entire lives, we're constantly encouraged to be productive. Like there is always something else we could be doing, improving or achieving. Now, when you have ADHD (like myself), this can become particularly complicated.
I might spend one day getting loads done, and of course, feel amazing about myself. Then, the next day, my brain refuses to cooperate with me and suddenly I feel guilty for not having “achieved” enough.
But here’s the thing… my worth didn’t change between those two days.
I was still the same person. My ability didn’t change because I was having an off day. My skills didn’t disappear because I procrastinated over the weekend.
Life started to feel good the moment I realised that a good life can’t be built entirely around how much you accomplish. I started to prioritise:
Good regulation.
Valued relationships.
Rest.
Hobbies.
Learning that it’s okay to make mistakes, slip up or procrastinate—so long as you get back up and keep it pushing.
Guess what? Like a domino effect, other areas of my life, like my career, relationships and personal achievements followed suit.
Pay attention to what makes you feel like yourself
When was the last time you did something simply because you enjoyed it?
Not because it was productive. Not because it would look good on Instagram. Not because you were supposed to.
Just because you wanted to.
It can be surprisingly difficult to answer that question when you've spent years prioritising what you should be doing.
Well, you can always start with noticing the little things. What makes you laugh? What makes you lose track of time? Who do you feel most yourself around? Where do you feel calm? What makes you feel energised? What have you always wanted to try?
These things might seem insignificant, but they aren't. They tell you something about the kind of life you might actually want.
Make room for things that don't have a purpose
This is something I was guilty of…
Not everything needs to lead somewhere!
You don't have to turn your hobby into a business. You don't have to exercise because you want to change your body. You don't have to read because you want to become more knowledgeable.
Sometimes you can do something simply because it's fun.
Paint something terrible. Go somewhere you've never been. Dance in your kitchen. Book the trip. Watch the film. Try the class. Have dinner with someone you love.
There is value in experiences that don't produce anything. They're part of the point.
Build a life that works for you
There's no universal formula for a good life. Because what works well for Sam, may make Judy feel miserable.
This is something I think a lot about when it comes to ADHD. We’re often given the generic advice based on how we’re supposed to function.
Okay, and when that doesn’t work?
Instead of constantly asking:
"Why can't I do to this like everyone else?"
Try asking:
"Does this actually work for me?"
Getting to know yourself is a huge part of creating a life that feels sustainable.
Stop waiting until everything is sorted
This one is easier said than done.
It's so tempting to think:
"I'll enjoy myself when I've got more money."
"I'll travel when work is less stressful."
"I'll focus on myself when everything else is sorted."
But, there will probably always be something, right? Life doesn't suddenly reach a point where everything is perfectly organised and you're handed permission to start enjoying it. Sometimes you have to make room for the good things while life is still messy.
You can have goals and still enjoy where you are. You can be struggling and still have a brilliant day. You can be figuring things out and still make memories.
Think about what you want more of
Instead of creating another list of things you need to fix, try creating a different kind of list.
Ask yourself:
What do I want more of in my life?:
More laughter
More time outside
More travel
More creativity
More meaningful friendships
More spontaneity
More rest
More confidence
More adventure
More time doing absolutely nothing
Then ask yourself:
What could I do this week to create a little more of that?
(p.s: It doesn't have to be dramatic.)
So, what would make your life feel better?
I don't think the goal is to create a perfect life. I think it's to create a life that feels worth pushing through to bad days.
A life with things you're excited about. A life where you're allowed to rest, change your mind, have fun, make mistakes and still feel proud of the person you're becoming.
(Bit of a long one I know, but hopefully it’s helped you even just a little)
Until next time Peeps
xoxo
